![\"\"](\"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/21-Questions-Chapter-Seven-Image.jpg\")
<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Yup.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n You\u2019re twenty-three years old, currently reside in California\u2014aka the \u201cState of Fornication\u201d\u2014attend a run-of-the-mill college, live with a stripper\u2026and still haven\u2019t \u201cdone the do\u201d yet.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n If one were to inquire why that is, they\u2019d most likely get varied answers that range anywhere from, A: You must be some sort of uptight prude or B: You\u2019re archaically saving yourself for marriage to C: You\u2019re a closet lesbian and D: You\u2019re just really, really<\/em> awkward around members of the opposite aforementioned.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n All depending on who you ask.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n While there\u2019s absolutely nothing wrong with any of the above, none apply.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Okay\u2026maybe just a teensy<\/em> bit of the last one.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n It’s not that you haven\u2019t had the opportunity to, either. And you\u2019d be lying if you said there wasn\u2019t a time when you\u2019d been tempted to engage in the usual millennialized FWB \u201csituationship\u201d. Problem is, for better or worse, you just don\u2019t think it\u2019s for you. At \u0627\u0644\u062c\u0645\u064a\u0639<\/em>. Deep down, it was never really an option, to begin with.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n And, while your upbringing probably has a lot to do with it, it’s not that you\u2019re waiting for marriage, either, despite the fact that your father\u2014who\u2019s as Baptist as they come\u2014has made it very clear on several occasions that he\u2019ll disown you if you “let yourself get compromised” before walking down the aisle at your church.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Yeah. Because the \u0623\u0648\u0644<\/em> thing a girl does after fucking a guy is pick up the phone and give daddy a ring to tell him all the nitty-gritty details and intricacies of getting nailed.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Gimme a break.<\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n When it comes down to it, the simple truth of the matter is\u2026you want to be in love when you finally make that choice.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Truly, genuinely, openly<\/em> in love with a man who is one hundred percent available in every way\u2014and loves you back<\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Unfortunately, it hasn\u2019t come to pass. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nonetheless, you\u2019ve<\/em> come to realize<\/em>, over time, that it\u2019s non-negotiable; it absolutely has<\/em> to be with someone you trust\u2014wholly<\/em>\u2014or it doesn\u2019t happen at all.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n You\u2019re not the biggest romantic, but you believe in emotional bonds and intentional commitment based on those ties. Even without having been in one before, you like to think you have enough self-awareness to know that you\u2019re a \u201crelationship person\u201d through and through. And, as physically unfulfilling not being in one can sometimes get, you don\u2019t want to sell yourself short by simply giving in to the typical college culture of casual fucking with any Tom, Dick\u2014no pun intended\u2014or Harry who\u2019s willing to drop his pants. Naturally, like most women on campus\u2014and life in general<\/em>\u2014will find, there\u2019s no shortage of those.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Michaela disagrees with both the notions of having to be married to \u0648<\/em> in love with a man to sleep with him, but you really don\u2019t think the latter is asking too much.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n So, no. you haven\u2019t had sex.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n You\u2019ve lived vicariously through steamy, dramatic love affairs of heroines in books and movies countless times, but nothing particularly sensual has ever entered into the equation during your actual, post-secondary existence, even though there were many when you\u2019d have loved to have known the strong, passionate grip of a guy\u2019s hand on your ass or his warm, velvety tongue against yours.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Mainly Adam<\/em>\u2019s.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n You\u2019d certainly fantasized about it enough times.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n But whenever those thoughts surfaced, the unclear and somewhat questionable emotions they conjured always sent you further into your studies or volunteer work, and you\u2019d end up tucking the dubious, lingering desires far into the recesses of your mind.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Until they\u2019d reemerge.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Eventually, you\u2019d break down after much resistance, forced to temper those unyielding, nameless feelings with the fictional sex of other women and their lovers all over again. Sometimes, a single story would be enough. Others, not even ten could get the job done. Which would, in<\/em> turn<\/em>, evoke a cumbersome, fragmented sense of guilt.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n A girl raised in a proper, Christian home shouldn’t be visualizing sucked lips, pinched nips and pumping hips.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Let alone crave them\u2026<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n And, just like that, this vicious, exhausting cycle would continue. Round and round. Again and again.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Your eyes inadvertently dart back to the acceptance letter, shelving concealed aspects of the past for the unveiled present.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dear Miss Constance Myers,<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n I am pleased to inform you on behalf of Earth Capital Co. that your application for internship for the post of Wildlife Conservationist has been accepted by the management of Earth Capital Co. and you have been selected for the annual internship program\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n The Recruitment Unit has expressed a positive response and believes that you have one of the best results amongst all the applicants this year\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n You\u2019ve already lost count of how many times you\u2019ve read those paragraphs. And it\u2019s highly likely you\u2019ll read them a bunch more once you head back home. It may seem obsessive, perhaps even narcissistic. Who knows, maybe on some level, it \u0647\u0648<\/em>. But you can’t help yourself. It\u2019s like a compulsion. Like you \u0644\u062f\u064a\u0643<\/em> to make sure the words are still there. That this isn\u2019t some fluke.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n To indicate your acceptance of the company\u2019s offer, please sign and date this letter\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Please note that this offer holds true for two (2) weeks from the date of this notification and if you fail to join us by then, this offer will be considered null and void\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n This message means so much more than a chance to gain valuable experience with a renowned company for the next twelve weeks. It\u2019s not just a first-class ticket to the opportunity of a lifetime.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n For you, it’s a sign; a huge, gigantic, bleeping sign that, for once, against all the odds, your actual life<\/em> \u0647\u0648 actually<\/em> going according to plan. That things are finally turning out how you want.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n This single sheet encompasses years of effort, discipline, tolerance and persistence\u2014all which have clearly paid off. It symbolizes everything you\u2019ve been wanting for a long time; physical proof that, in spite of the stumbling blocks and naysayers, you made the right choice.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n And, now, are about to take a huge, pivotal step in the right direction.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n “We absolutely \u0644\u062f\u064a\u0643<\/em> to celebrate you getting the Earth Cap internship,” Pey grins emphatically, stealing your attention from the words in front of you. “This is a big deal! We could check out that new club in the Dusk to Dawn District. Or one of those trendy, remodeled dive bars in the Power and Light Ward.”<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n She throws out more suggestions of the same general ilk, her tone persuading, only because she knows nightclubs and bars are totally \u0644\u064a\u0633<\/em> your scene.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n “How about a trip to a conservation park or botanical garden?” you rebut. “Ooh, ooh! Or a state-of-the-art recycling factory?” you add, getting more excited as you seriously consider the prospect. “We could even hike there!”<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Peyton offers a dry, non-hesitant, resounding, \u201cNo.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBike there, then?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAbsolutely<\/em> not!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n You erupt into a fit of laughter at the fact that your best friend, for all her fitness<\/em> and athletic disposition, still possesses an unmitigated fear of bicycles after falling off her very first and landing chin<\/em>-first on sunbaked asphalt the afternoon of her seventh birthday. Three broken teeth and a busted lip that required half a dozen stitches were the outcome. And while not a trace of either is visible over a decade and a half later, the emotional trauma clearly took its toll and is apparent as ever.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d Peyton suddenly asks, her brows drawn close together, and you realize you\u2019ve been staring at her.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n You shrug, offering a small, somewhat despondent smile. “I don\u2019t know, I…I’m happy about the internship, don’t get me wrong. I really am. I just…can\u2019t help but wonder how much further along I’d be now if I’d done what I wanted from the get-go. Like you<\/em>.”<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n The conversation switches suddenly, and you don’t mean to bring up Peyton\u2019s current status as a final-year, environmental law student and her trajectory to graduating at the top of her class by the end of the semester. It’s just hard to ignore.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n And, while you couldn\u2019t be happier for her, it hurts to think about, not only because it evokes a major sense of regret, forcing you to contend with the fact that you could\u2019ve been where she is now if only you\u2019d listened to your heart and not been afraid to follow it sooner, but also because, in all likeliness, you won\u2019t be seeing much of your best friend once she moves to LA to practice alongside the big-league attorneys after graduation.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n You exhale, hating this feeling.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n “It’s like I’m playing catch-up all the time but I’m always two years too late.”<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n The words leave you in an involuntary whisper, your countenance falling even though you should be the happiest person in the room.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n “Don’t you dare do that to yourself,” Peyton counters, her usually chipper visage growing stern. “You hear me? You’ve worked your ass<\/em> off and more than made up for whatever time you lost. That paper in your hands is proof of that. Don’t let any disappointments you have about your past rain on your parade or dampen your excitement for the future. Regret doesn’t get you anywhere, Connie. Believe me, \u0623\u0646\u0627<\/em> know. So, you might as well not even waste your time wallowing in it.”<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n You can’t help but smile. “Best. Pep talk. Ever<\/em>.”<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n She chuckles, shaking her head at your silly yet sincere come back.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Typical Peyton Baxter.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n She always knows just what to say; both an attentive, listening ear and a compassionate, honest voice. A genuinely amazing person all around.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n You don’t know why she insists on staying single.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n For as long as you\u2019ve known the self-proclaimed \u201cSingle-erra\u201d, she’s never been in a relationship or had a single\u2014no pun intended\u2014guy come around, even briefly. Which is a shame because she’s such a catch.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Come to think of it, her \u201cfabstinence\u201d is probably why you haven’t felt as odd about being an SOV: \u201cslightly older virgin\u201d. In fact, all three of the closest women in your life, for better or worse, don’t have the kind of love-slash-sex lives you aspire to, so you\u2019ve never really felt as pressured to date or jump into a relationship as you might have, otherwise.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Peyton is pretty much married to her studies, going full speed on a straight and narrow path to the kind of mega success deserving of her prodigy. She’s never had trouble attracting men, though; the girl\u2019s both beautiful and brilliant, insanely intelligent yet friendly and charming, somehow able to bridge that elusive gap between distinguished scholastic excellence and remarkable social prowess. A bookworm of the highest order and a bright, social butterfly all wrapped up in a simultaneously inspirational and envy-inducing package. But, for all her smarts and charisma, she remains single, deliberately so, turning down potential suitors left and right, promptly friend-zoning any guy who shows the tiniest flicker of interest in being even a smidgen more.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Then there’s Michaela; the closest thing you have to a biological sibling as an only child\u2014an attribute you share. She’s pretty much the polar opposite of Peyton, trading one man for another practically every other day of the week. The ultimate free spirit and personification of commitment phobia.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n And, finally, your mother; the willing, ever-eager participant in a passionless, mechanical affiliation paraded as marriage that she’ll fight tooth and nail to uphold so she can continue to bask in pedantic humble-brags about the modest band on her finger and the thirty-five year statistic of her union with her husband, silently gloating every time an unsuspecting listener oohs<\/em> \u0648 aahs <\/em>at the revelation, voicing their envy, wishing that they, too<\/em> could find their soul mate to spend \u201chappily ever after\u201d with.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n If only they knew.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Peyton raises her mug, visibly spirited.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cTo an exciting future,\u201d she toasts.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n You nod, clinking your glass against it in solidarity.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cTo an exciting future.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n ***<\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Yup. You\u2019re twenty-three years old, currently reside in California\u2014aka the \u201cState of Fornication\u201d\u2014attend a run-of-the-mill college, live with a stripper\u2026and still haven\u2019t \u201cdone the do\u201d yet. If one were to inquire why that is, they\u2019d most likely get varied answers that range anywhere from, A: You must be some sort of uptight prude or B: You\u2019re archaically saving yourself for marriage to C: You\u2019re a closet lesbian and D: You\u2019re just really, really awkward around members of the opposite aforementioned. All depending on… \u0627\u0642\u0631\u0623 \u0623\u0643\u062b\u0631<\/a><\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5484,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"_themeisle_gutenberg_block_has_review":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[96,93],"tags":[],"series":[107],"class_list":["post-5535","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-contemporary-2","category-romance","series-21-questions-role-play-edition"],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/21-Questions-Role-Play-Edition-Cover-Image-640x1024.jpg","blog_images":{"medium":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/21-Questions-Role-Play-Edition-Cover-Image-188x300.jpg","large":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/21-Questions-Role-Play-Edition-Cover-Image-640x1024.jpg"},"ams_acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/ar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5535","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/ar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/ar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/ar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/ar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5535"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/ar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5535\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/ar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5484"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/ar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5535"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/ar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5535"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/ar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5535"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/ar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=5535"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/21-Questions-Page-Chapter-Heading-Image-232x300.jpg\")
<\/span><\/p>\n