{"id":3054,"date":"2017-12-03T05:37:34","date_gmt":"2017-12-03T05:37:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/?p=3054"},"modified":"2023-02-14T02:10:11","modified_gmt":"2023-02-14T07:10:11","slug":"doctor-patient-confidentiality-chapter-fifteen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/doctor-patient-confidentiality-chapter-fifteen\/","title":{"rendered":"\u0921\u0949\u0915\u094d\u091f\u0930-\u0930\u094b\u0917\u0940 \u0917\u094b\u092a\u0928\u0940\u092f\u0924\u093e: \u0905\u0927\u094d\u092f\u093e\u092f \u092a\u0902\u0926\u094d\u0930\u0939"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">He reaches for a frameless pair of glasses and puts them on with a single hand while grabbing my folder with the other. The action is so effortless and yet so meticulous at the same time. I find myself staring at his hands for a moment, noticing their incredible structure and size. His fingers have a certain elegance about them, like they can wield magic or something.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\"><em>Well, he <\/em>\u0939\u0948 <em>a surgeon, so I guess that&#8217;s technically true on some level. <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;Ramona Gallo,&#8221; he says as he looks at the first page of my form. The incredible depth of his voice sends a bolt of shivers down my spine, catching me off guard. I find myself wanting him to say my name again, and I think I&#8217;m even more surprised by <em>\u0935\u0939 <\/em>reaction.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">I frown at myself, feeling like I need a good hard knock on the head to get my mind right. I&#8217;m in a doctor&#8217;s office, for crying out loud. Considering my history, this is the last place on Earth I should ever feel anything other than dread or disgust.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;You&#8217;re Italian?&#8221; he asks, but his attention is still on my form.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">I nod my head as if he&#8217;s looking. &#8220;Uh, yes. Partially,&#8221; I say hoarsely. I need to clear my throat before speaking again. &#8220;My dad was Italian and my mom was Bajan.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">He turns his face toward me, an unusually curious expression showing through his perfect features.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;Was?&#8221; he asks.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">It&#8217;s a simple question, but carries so much weight for me that I feel like I&#8217;ve been kicked in the gut with a pair of heavy metal boots. I feel myself struggling to swallow before I can say anything else.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;Yeah. They both passed away,&#8221; I simply offer.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">A hollowness fills me as I sit still in the firm leather chair, trying hard to not let my emotions get the better of me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">His expression turns slightly somber as he continues to look at me. The look is unmistakable.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Great. He feels sorry for me. He feels the <em>one <\/em>thing I absolutely can&#8217;t stand and don&#8217;t want from <em>anyone<\/em>; pity.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;I&#8217;m sorry,&#8221; he offers.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;It&#8217;s okay,&#8221; I quickly say. There&#8217;s a slight hostility and a hint of anger in my voice when I say it, and I know I shouldn&#8217;t be so defensive with him about the topic. He doesn&#8217;t deserve my wrath. All he did was offer a polite and empathetic gesture.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\"><em>That&#8217;s what you do when someone tells you they&#8217;ve lost someone<\/em>, I internally scold myself. <em>You empathize with them! It\u2019s common courtesy, Roni. No big deal.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;I used to be really good friends with a Daniel Gallo way back in the day,&#8221; he says, smiling. &#8220;A marine. Really nice guy. You wouldn&#8217;t happen to know him, would you?&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">My eyes widen at the mention of that name. It takes me a few seconds before I can answer. &#8220;Uh\u2026y-yeah. Danny&#8217;s my, uh, my half-brother.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">He raises his eyebrows, seemingly just as surprised by the coincidence as I am.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;Is that so? I thought you looked a little like him,\u201d he says. \u201cI\u2019ve known him a long time, but I had no idea he had another sister.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">He looks at me intently again, as if trying to really confirm our resemblance, his eyes sweeping over my figure and burning holes into my flesh. I shift in my chair, uncomfortable with his prolonged gaze.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;How is he?&#8221; he asks, finally breaking his stare.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">I shrug. &#8220;I&#8217;m not exactly sure. We don&#8217;t really talk that often.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">More like <em>\u0915\u092d\u0940<\/em>. Danny hates my guts. And my mother&#8217;s. So does his sister, Jennifer. They always have. They\u2019ve always blamed us for our father leaving them and their mother, and also for his death. Now that my mother&#8217;s gone, they put all that blame on me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;I see,&#8221; he simply says. &#8220;Well if you get in touch with him, tell him Dexter Frost says, &#8216;hi&#8217;.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">I give a forced smile, betting everything I have that he&#8217;ll get in touch with Danny way before I ever will.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Dr. Frost flips through the pages of the form as I idly pick at the slightly chipped polish on my nails, trying to focus solely on the bubbling sounds of the aquarium instead of his gorgeous face.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">His voice comes through again, easily distracting me from doing so.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;I see you have a history of cancer in your family. Is that how your mother passed?&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">I answer him in an almost robotic manner. &#8220;Yes. Both my mother and her father died from cancer. So did my paternal grandfather.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">He nods. &#8220;I see. Again, you have my condolences. As an oncologist, I know how hard that can be.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">I&#8217;m not sure whether or not he knows about what happened, and I don\u2019t know if Danny had told him, but he doesn&#8217;t ask me about my father\u2014about <em>our<\/em> father\u2014and I&#8217;m glad for that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">His voice comes through again. &#8220;What types?&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;I&#8217;m sorry?&#8221; I say, confused by his question.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;What types of cancer did your mother and grandfathers have?&#8221; he clarifies.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;Oh. Uh, breast cancer for my mother. Colon cancer for her father. Pancreatic for my paternal grandfather.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;I see. How long has it been since each of them passed?&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">I&#8217;m not sure if the question is medically related, but there seems to be a hint of simple curiosity behind it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">I decide to answer regardless of the question&#8217;s intent. &#8220;It&#8217;s been about six years for my mom. Her father died before I was born, and it&#8217;ll be a year exactly on Friday since my other grandfather&#8217;s passing.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">He continues to flip through the pages, with eyes so intense and focused, scanning each one carefully and intently.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">He finally places the form on his desk and turns to fully face me with his hands intertwined on his desk again. A noticeable frown makes its way onto his lips.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;You have a considerable drug use history. Can you tell me a bit about that?&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">I stiffen in my seat as soon as the words leave his mouth, and I feel a bout of shame quickly creep up on me, threatening to wash over me completely.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">I guess I should have expected him to ask me about that since I did fill it out in the form, but talking about my past history with drug abuse\u2014even with a professional physician\u2014still makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">He&#8217;s just another stranger. It really shouldn&#8217;t matter what he thinks of me, and I certainly shouldn&#8217;t care if he <em>does <\/em>think less of me, but for some reason,\u00a0 I don&#8217;t want him to judge me or see me in such a negative light. I don&#8217;t know why, I just don&#8217;t.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;I\u2026I just sort of went through this phase right after my mother died. I guess I was trying to cope with her loss,&#8221; I admit.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">He nods, somewhat empathetically, but still has a serious look on his face with the frown still intact.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;I can understand that,\u201d he says, \u201cand I can imagine how hard it must have been for you. But you know that there are very serious risks and consequences that come with drug abuse. Especially when you mix so many together.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">His tone is starting to get a bit harsh, and I feel like I&#8217;m being scolded.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Great. First it&#8217;s Vito, and now it&#8217;s this guy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">He pauses for a moment, still looking at me with a gaze so intense that I have to look down at my hands to break the stare. My fingers are trembling, and I don&#8217;t know if it&#8217;s because he&#8217;s subtly telling me off or something else.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">I hear him breathe out, possibly in a sigh.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;I&#8217;m not going to give you a lecture on drug abuse,\u201d he says. \u201cYou seem like a smart person, and I wouldn&#8217;t be telling you anything you don&#8217;t already know. Plus, you haven&#8217;t indicated that you&#8217;re currently under any medication. I&#8217;m assuming that includes non-prescription and recreational drugs. Is my assumption correct?&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;Yes,&#8221; I whisper, suddenly feeling really low about myself. I really wish he didn&#8217;t know about my previous drug problem.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;Okay,\u201d he nods. \u201cI&#8217;m taking your word for it, but I want you to know right now and here that you&#8217;re not doing yourself any favors if you are still engaging in drug abuse.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\"><em>Jesus, I know that! Drop it already!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">I&#8217;m becoming furious. It&#8217;s like he&#8217;s picking on me now. I want to voice my thoughts but I don\u2019t. I hate feeling paranoid, but I&#8217;m beginning to think he&#8217;s demeaning me because of what I did. I may not have made the best choices, but he has no right to look down on me for them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">I swallow hard, feeling the onset of tears threatening to well in my eyes. I haven&#8217;t talked about my drug history with anyone before, on any occasion, and on any level. I never imagined doing so would be this hard, and he hasn&#8217;t even scratched the surface.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">I bite my lip, physically refraining myself from verbally lashing out at him. My nostrils flare slightly, and I know I&#8217;m getting really angry. Gorgeous or not, if he so much as mentions anything about drugs one more time, I&#8217;m going to cuss the mess out of him and walk right out of this building.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">There&#8217;s a long pause, and the awkward silence that ensues is broken only by the wispy sounds of flipping pages. My feet start tapping uncontrollably again, giving away my state of impatience, anger, and anxiety.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Is a consultation supposed to take this fucking long?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">After a moment, he finally breaks the silence.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8220;So,&#8221; he begins, switching his attention back to me again and linking his long fingers through each other once more, \u201ctell me what&#8217;s going on, Ramona.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">***<\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>He reaches for a frameless pair of glasses and puts them on with a single hand while grabbing my folder with the other. The action is so effortless and yet so meticulous at the same time. I find myself staring at his hands for a moment, noticing their incredible structure and size. His fingers have a certain elegance about them, like they can wield magic or something. Well, he is a surgeon, so I guess that&#8217;s technically true on some level. &#8220;Ramona Gallo,&#8221; he says as he looks at the&#8230; <span class=\"more\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/doctor-patient-confidentiality-chapter-fifteen\/\">\u0905\u0927\u093f\u0915 \u092a\u0922\u093c\u0947\u0902<\/a><\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2990,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"_themeisle_gutenberg_block_has_review":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[96],"tags":[],"series":[99],"class_list":["post-3054","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-contemporary-2","series-doctor-patient-confidentiality"],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/DPC-Wattpad-Header-1024x341.jpg","blog_images":{"medium":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/DPC-Wattpad-Header-300x100.jpg","large":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/DPC-Wattpad-Header-1024x341.jpg"},"ams_acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3054","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3054"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3054\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2990"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3054"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3054"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3054"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=3054"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}