{"id":5764,"date":"2021-02-12T16:24:41","date_gmt":"2021-02-12T21:24:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/?p=5764"},"modified":"2021-02-12T16:25:46","modified_gmt":"2021-02-12T21:25:46","slug":"21-questions-chapter-three","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/21-questions-chapter-three\/","title":{"rendered":"21 Questions: Chapter Three"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-5511 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/21-Questions-Chapter-Three-Image.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1103\" height=\"383\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-5483 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/21-Questions-Page-Chapter-Heading-Image-232x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"232\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/21-Questions-Page-Chapter-Heading-Image-232x300.jpg 232w, https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/21-Questions-Page-Chapter-Heading-Image-464x600.jpg 464w, https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/21-Questions-Page-Chapter-Heading-Image.jpg 495w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 232px) 100vw, 232px\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">Naturally, I was disappointed when I found out he had a girlfriend and, <em>yes<\/em>, I was a little jealous of her.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">Okay, a <em>\u092c\u0939\u0941\u0924<\/em> jealous.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">Like, a <em>lot lot<\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">But that was five years ago and, while I still find him undeniably attractive, I had no choice but to move on from my unrequited crush when I realized that absolutely nothing would come of it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">Adam is the committed, relationship type; a thing I both admire and lament because <em>\u092e\u0948\u0902<\/em><em>\u2019m<\/em> not the one he&#8217;s committed to.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">Well\u2026<em>used to<\/em> lament.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">Those days are long behind me, thank God.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">I continue to eye him for a moment. He looks\u2026stressed; a lot more than usual. And quiet.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">\u201cYou okay?\u201d I ask against my better judgment.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">He turns to me, seeming surprised, his brows arching briefly.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">\u201cY-yeah,\u201d he smiles, somewhat awkwardly, but the warmth in his dark brown eyes makes it endearing, somehow. \u201cJust got a lot on my mind.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">But he doesn&#8217;t go any further.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">I\u2019m tempted to ask him if he wants to talk about it, but I decide against that. I can tell something&#8217;s wrong, that he&#8217;s holding back, but I don&#8217;t push. Prying is <em>\u0928\u0939\u0940\u0902<\/em> on my to-do list today.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">Plus, keeping my emotional distance from Adam is what helped me get over my feelings for him in the first place. And after how much time and effort <em>\u0935\u0939<\/em> took, I&#8217;d like for it to stay that way.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">So, I decide to do what I came to do, instead; mind my own damn business.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">My focus shifts to jump-starting a week-long rally against offshore drilling on the Pacific coast. It\u2019ll be one of many I\u2019ve participated in but the first I\u2019ve ever organized\u2014and my very first volunteer project for the new year.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">I scan the cramped space, feeling a small wave of both sadness and nostalgia as I stare at the repurposed furniture backed up against chipping, pastel walls.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">Coming to terms with the fact that this is going to be my last semester in this old little office is bitter-sweet. I really love it here. Even though it\u2019s still a tad run-down and could certainly use an upgrade, its unique setup imparts a certain character I\u2019ve become quite fond of, and a part of me wouldn\u2019t change any of it for anything.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">Okay\u2026maybe the windows could use some blinders and the ceiling could stand to be slightly higher.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">Still, my sentiment holds. This office and the people who\u2019ve been in it have been a major part of my life for so many years.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">But, while I&#8217;ll miss it, I know that growth in life involves change; which is what I want my final months as an undergrad to be all about.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\"><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\"><em>Real<\/em> change.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">My sole New Year\u2019s resolution.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">***<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">I glance at my watch, my shoe dangling from my foot impatiently. Just under two hours have passed by the time I&#8217;m done with the initial outline and all the preliminary paperwork. I still have a ways to go and countless details to sort out but I decide to leave those for another day, feeling too out-of-it to keep going. At the same time, this weird restlessness I can\u2019t seem to shake off won&#8217;t let me call it a day just yet.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">Switching gears, I pull out my laptop, opening up a customized editor, my fingers settling on my keyboard as I stare at the blank screen.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">A small rush of excitement hits me even though I\u2019ve done this so many times before, like riding your favorite bike on a new route.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">It&#8217;s still hard to believe that something I started only two years ago has exploded into this; one of the top-ranked environmental blogs on the web. And to think its creation was for nothing more than documenting a few thoughts, firsthand experiences and personal musings on the environment.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">I honestly never thought any one else would read it, let alone care about my opinions or what I had to say.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">Again, a byproduct of controlling, repressive parents.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">But someone <em>\u0915\u093f\u092f\u093e <\/em>read it. And another, and another, and before I knew it, I had readers visiting my blog every single day, sending me messages and asking when the next post would come. Leaving comments about how much more they now know because of my publications. How much they enjoy my delivery as much as my message. How I&#8217;ve inspired them to be more health-conscious. More aware of their role and impact on the planet. What they put both <em>in<\/em> \u0924\u0925\u093e <em>on<\/em> their bodies and how it affects them both short and long term. The way the revolution of the food industry has shaped the current health crisis in the West and how it\u2019s extending to the rest of the world. Etcetera. Etcetera.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">On a whim, I start typing, deciding on a slightly more\u2026<em>eccentric<\/em> post; one that speaks to my\u2014admittedly underdeveloped\u2014poetic side. One a lot less conventional and scholastic than I&#8217;ve penned so far.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">Then again, I did say I want change. And what better place to start?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">I title it:<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\"><strong><em>If the Earth were a guy<\/em><\/strong>&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">***<\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Naturally, I was disappointed when I found out he had a girlfriend and, yes, I was a little jealous of her. &nbsp; Okay, a lot jealous. &nbsp; Like, a lot lot. &nbsp; But that was five years ago and, while I still find him undeniably attractive, I had no choice but to move on from my unrequited crush when I realized that absolutely nothing would come of it. &nbsp; Adam is the committed, relationship type; a thing I both admire and lament because I\u2019m not the&#8230; <span class=\"more\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/21-questions-chapter-three\/\">\u0905\u0927\u093f\u0915 \u092a\u0922\u093c\u0947\u0902<\/a><\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5760,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"_themeisle_gutenberg_block_has_review":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[96,93],"tags":[],"series":[108],"class_list":["post-5764","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-contemporary-2","category-romance","series-21-questions"],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/21-Questions-Cover-Image.jpg","blog_images":{"medium":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/21-Questions-Cover-Image-300x200.jpg","large":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/21-Questions-Cover-Image.jpg"},"ams_acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5764","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5764"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5764\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5760"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5764"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5764"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5764"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=5764"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}