{"id":5765,"date":"2021-02-12T16:27:50","date_gmt":"2021-02-12T21:27:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/?p=5765"},"modified":"2021-02-12T16:28:30","modified_gmt":"2021-02-12T21:28:30","slug":"21-questions-chapter-four","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/21-questions-chapter-four\/","title":{"rendered":"21 Questions: Chapter Four"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-5493 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/21-Questions-Chapter-Four-Image.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1027\" height=\"383\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-5483 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/21-Questions-Page-Chapter-Heading-Image-232x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"232\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/21-Questions-Page-Chapter-Heading-Image-232x300.jpg 232w, https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/21-Questions-Page-Chapter-Heading-Image-464x600.jpg 464w, https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/21-Questions-Page-Chapter-Heading-Image.jpg 495w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 232px) 100vw, 232px\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">I pop my knuckles, my arms stretching as far as they can go as a tired yawn escapes me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\"><em>Finally&#8230; <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">Almost another hour later, I hit &#8216;publish&#8217; and watch my post go live, exhausted beyond belief.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">I can, without a doubt, call it a day now.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">A sense of relief washes over me for what I&#8217;ve accomplished for the day, but I also feel overwhelmed by what I still have left to do. Not to mention, the aftermath of the interview. The anticipation of its result still has me on edge.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">I close my laptop, sliding out of my chair.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">&#8220;Heading out?&#8221; I hear Adam ask from behind. I glance over my shoulder, meeting his gaze briefly.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">&#8220;Yeah, I think I&#8217;m gonna call it quits for today. I feel like I can barely keep my eyes open.&#8221; I reach for my belongings, packing stuff away. &#8220;You?&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">He leans back in his chair, exhaling through a boyish grin.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">&#8220;I&#8217;m starting to think coming in was a bad idea.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">My eyes shift to the mountain of files and folders stacked in front of him.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">An involuntary chuckle escapes me, and I realize it&#8217;s the second time I&#8217;ve laughed all day. Perhaps all week.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">Because of him.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\"><em>Don\u2019t start<\/em>, my inner voice promptly jumps in. <em>He&#8217;s not available and he never <\/em>will<em> be so don\u2019t go getting all starry-eyed again. You\u2019ve been through this already, remember?<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">A frustrated groan claws its way up my throat, and I have to resist the urge to let it out. In spite of my factual, spot-on thoughts, my heart sinks with a familiar sense of disappointment.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">It seems keeping <em>physical<\/em> distance from Adam was a necessity, too.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">&#8220;Well, I\u2019m off,&#8221; I wave, feigning nonchalance as I sling my bag over my shoulder, heading for the door. \u201cHave a blast.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">&#8220;See you later,&#8221; he nods.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">I swallow as I squeeze past haphazardly-placed furniture, hating myself for not being able to have a simple conversation without my mind veering into non-platonic territory.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">&#8220;Hey, Connie&#8230;&#8221; Adam calls just as I reach for the knob.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">&#8220;Hmmm?&#8221; I look over my shoulder once more, my brow arching.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">He blinks once. Twice. There&#8217;s a slight pause before he speaks.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">&#8220;Actually, I\u2026would you\u2026\u201d he swallows, inhaling. \u201cDo you want to get a drink?&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">Now it&#8217;s my turn to pause, meeting his expression with a stunned, confused look. My eyes bulge impulsively, my knee-jerk reaction displaying itself before I can stop it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">&#8220;Oh&#8230;&#8221; is all I can seem to manage for several seconds, completely taken aback by his offer even though I&#8217;m well aware that he&#8217;s precisely the kind of friendly guy who\u2019d ask something like that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">We\u2019ve never hung out one-on-one before so it\u2019s the last thing I was expecting. But I want to shake myself for thinking that the sudden invitation is anything more than a regular social proposal, even briefly.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">And yet\u2026there\u2019s something about his tone.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">And the hesitation\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">Is he\u2026<em>nervous<\/em>?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">As normal as his words are, they\u2019re kind of surreal; the type of thing I used to fantasize again and again about back when my crush on him was brand new and unjaded. But now, in the actual reality of it, I feel more anxious than excited by the prospect.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">Still, I&#8217;d be lying through my teeth if I said I\u2019m not tempted to take him up on the offer. To indulge in a harmless, friendly drink with a work colleague. But, as much as that interview made me want to stuff my liver with a bucket of vodka, being in the company of a man that I still have a hard time truly and genuinely thinking of in a completely platonic way with alcohol thrown into the mix has &#8220;bad idea&#8221; written all over it. With a capital B.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">I shake my head, as if snapping myself out of a mute trance.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">&#8220;Uh, thanks but I&#8230;I already have plans with my roommate,&#8221; I lie. Second one of the year. Yippee.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">Adam smiles, somewhat sheepishly, seeming a bit disappointed when I decline. He runs a hand through his hair, his eyes lowering. Suddenly, it&#8217;s awkward.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">He nods, his gaze still averted, and I\u2019m unsure if the gesture is more for me or himself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">&#8220;Maybe some other time, then,&#8221; he says, still smiling, but it doesn&#8217;t reach his eyes when he looks up at me again.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\"><em>Aaand<\/em> now I feel bad. Really bad. I want to say something to make it better, to make this weird, novel tension go away, but I have absolutely no idea what. So, I smile.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">\u201cHave a good night,\u201d is all I can offer, leaving before it can get any more uncomfortable.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times, serif;\">***<\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; I pop my knuckles, my arms stretching as far as they can go as a tired yawn escapes me. &nbsp; Finally&#8230; &nbsp; Almost another hour later, I hit &#8216;publish&#8217; and watch my post go live, exhausted beyond belief. &nbsp; I can, without a doubt, call it a day now. &nbsp; A sense of relief washes over me for what I&#8217;ve accomplished for the day, but I also feel overwhelmed by what I still have left to do. Not to mention, the aftermath of the interview. The anticipation&#8230; <span class=\"more\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/21-questions-chapter-four\/\">\u0905\u0927\u093f\u0915 \u092a\u0922\u093c\u0947\u0902<\/a><\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5760,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"_themeisle_gutenberg_block_has_review":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[96,93],"tags":[],"series":[108],"class_list":["post-5765","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-contemporary-2","category-romance","series-21-questions"],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/21-Questions-Cover-Image.jpg","blog_images":{"medium":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/21-Questions-Cover-Image-300x200.jpg","large":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/21-Questions-Cover-Image.jpg"},"ams_acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5765","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5765"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5765\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5760"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5765"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5765"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5765"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emendedhearts.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=5765"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}